If You'd Just Let Me Explain

a filk by Pippin, to the tune of If I Only Had a Brain
 

Scene: The Shrieking Shack
Present: Harry, Hermione, Ron,  Scabbers, Lupin, Black, Snape and Crookshanks
 

(SIRIUS)
I was not the secret keeper, I pawned it off on Peter
For which I am to blame
I thought he could be trusted but instead he got me busted
If you'd just let me explain.
I admit I am  compulsive, obsessive and  impulsive,
And diagnosed insane
Though you think  I'm a bad guy, I am innocent, not that guy
If you'd just let me explain.

Oh I, can tell you why, I broke Ron's leg in two
and cut up his curtains with a knife, I only wanted
Pettigrew
I would not be just a nothin', a fugitive stud muffin,
My heart all full of pain.
Life would be a ding a derry, I'd be taking care of Harry
If you'd just let me explain.

(LUPIN)
Oh, I couldn't be a lone wolf
A go-it-on-your-own wolf
My sanity to preserve.
Led my friends to  animagic
Risking outcomes worse than tragic
Guess we had a lot of nerve.
I'm afraid there's no denyin' to Dumble I've been lyin'
My job I don't deserve 
But I could have told the truth, all about my misspent youth,
If I'd only had the nerve

(SIRIUS and  LUPIN)
So we implore you, Snape,
Don't let this dirty rat escape
He's Peter Pettigrew
Don't let him flee to You Know Who 
 

(SNAPE)
When Neville in fine fettle, destroys another kettle,
I just tear him apart.
You'd be over-presumin'  that I could be kind-a human
If I only had a heart.
If I'm tender  or I'm gentle- they 'll think that I've gone mental
It's better not to start
It's The Kiss  for Black and Lupin
'Cause these children they've been dupin'
I don't buy their crazy story
(SIRIUS )
And you're dyin' for some glory
(LUPIN)
And  a Merlin decoration to deserve

(SIRIUS) Then I won't get  to explain...
(HARRY)And I'll never get a  home...
(HERMIONE) If he only had a heart...
(SIRIUS)  A brain...
(SNAPE) What nerve!

(Hermione, Harry and Ron disarm Snape and knock him out)

copyright 2001 - Pippin